Friday 14 February 2014

"totally asymmetrical breasts..."

"I wanted to respond to those ads which I see in newspaper to have them toned through
some sort of balm or massage.  However, later I found that all those creams are nothing
but hoax. 

I am also not looking forward to my potential knight in shining armour to go all derogatory about
my ill-aligned boobs.

Few months back I discussed it with mom and she went furious and rejected the idea for
have reconstructive surgery out rightly. 

Having said that, I am dispatching few of my yucky knocker’s clicks."




Dear Submitter, 
I appreciate your strength in sending a submission that clearly has caused you a lot of sadness and insecurity. But to be honest with you, I had to look at your pictures for quite a while to look for the 'imperfections' you were referring to... and still... I can't see any issues. 

I hope that you have been following this project and have seen that breasts come in all shapes and sizes. Not everyones nipples look the same...and thats ok! I can't see any real asymmetry at all, lots of women's nipples point outwards... some point upwards, some point downwards...and some point forward...that's just how it is - variety, it strengthens the gene pool! 

I am so deeply saddened to hear that you were taunted about your breasts by a 'close friend'...there is absolutely no reason that someone should comment on others breast shape or size, its very personal and highly sensitive...that was a very unkind thing to do. That may have contributed to why you view your breasts in such a negative light. There is NOTHING wrong with them at all.

Also, I'm glad you saw past those ads in the paper, these things are never credible. Don't consult anyone other than a licensed doctor in regard to matters about your body and health. 

In my view, it's bizarre that you went as far as thinking about 'reconstructive surgery' - what on earth for?!! what would you 'reconstruct' ? 

Please don't live in fear of what will happen when you expose your breasts to a man. Straight men are usually very happy to see a pair of nekkid boobs. They have other thoughts in their mind once those are out...trust me, no one will be sitting around analyzing the exact proportions and symmetry of your breasts. Plus I don't think anyone's are perfectly symmetrical. 

Do not refer to them as 'yucky knockers' again! They are perfectly lovely. 

Hope everyone has had a fine anti-mullah valentines day! (In actuality I despise the day myself, but I'm on board if it pisses the extremists off).

So I drew a little somethin' 
















Friday 7 February 2014

"I'll give you a month's additional pay if..."




I'm sure a lot of women can relate to being treated in a sexist way at the workplace. This submitter's case is extreme...and a rare occurrence I hope. But truly... my heart goes out to her, I can't imagine what she must've felt like...after being treated like a commodity in a flesh bazaar. I mean the fucking audacity of this boss person....is beyond horrific. What kind of person does someone have to be... to even broach this topic with someone else? How huge of a fuckwad do you have to be to think this is a conversation that is ok to have?

To varying degrees, most of us women are treated like we're property..or objects...simply there to please a man...

In Pakistan sexism is accepted and commonplace, masquerading as 'culture'. So men worry less about consequences of saying such things. But thats not to say it doesn't happen elsewhere...I worked at a place here in Canada where the big boss man stroked tattoos on my shoulder very inappropriately, as well as running his finger along my ear (so gross, I know) --- and this was in front of multiple witnesses. Everyone, including myself just froze at the awkward inappropriateness of the behaviour. I was stunned and felt incredibly violated for days after...I never went to HR though, because I didn't even know how to put that into words...I was afraid of not being believed, or being perceived as a trouble maker. I did not want to lose my job and I never had direct contact with this man...so I let it go. I shouldn't have...but sadly I did. And that's what we often do....we shrink away from such problems - especially if the one causing the issue is someone in a position of power (and it often is). So so unfair of people in an advantageous position to put you in that spot.... had it been a co-worker I definitely would have filed a complaint. But the CEO....uh...I just felt lost.

Didn't stay in that job for much longer.

That was several years ago now, but I think I learned a lot from that experience. I'd like to think if I was mistreated like that again, I would speak out...no matter who it was. In fact that experience was one of many that motivated me to start blogging.

To the submitter; Please know that you are not alone in this. What you were propositioned with is awful. Do you think you would react differently if something similar happened again? I don't even know what advice to give you regarding this type of thing. I'm stumped really....especially in Pakistan.... what would have happened if you went to HR?

People are afraid to speak out because victim-blaming is the easier option for society. In all sorts of abuse cases, childhood sexual abuse, adult sexual abuse, physical abuse, inappropriate behaviour.... you name it... thats what we have to change. Everyone reading can help, by remembering that.

Till next time.... Ladies, please keep your submissions coming!